I'm so fragile right now.

The littlest things upset me and I just can't help feeling sorry for myself.

Uni today was probably the worst day ever. My eyes were welling up and supressing tears 80% of the day and I kept going into toilet cubicles to have myself little cries. Not huge cries and letting it all out because I would look like a wreck. But small individual sessions to let the tension all out bit by bit.

I'm not exactly sure why I'm feeling this way but I think when you have spent a lot of your time putting up with something of which you don't have any control over eventually it adds up and now the cracks are starting to surface... and I'm just about reaching breaking point... if not already there.

The worst thing is that I don't know what to do. What do you do when the only thing you can't do is to lay it on the table and talk about it to parties involved? I can't bring myself to do this because as much as I feel I am always getting the raw end of the deal... I just can't not be involved at the same time. I'm still holding on and not ready to let go.

Right now I just feel that there's nothing I can do except feel like a beaten up old ragdoll of which no one cares for anymore... with a fragile glass vial imbedded deep in my chest filled to the brim with thoughts and feelings I can't share.