Michael (Spence) pointed out to me last night that despite me being so incredibly leftwing, I am applying for and wanting to work for multinationals. This has crossed my mind a few weeks ago when the sudden change in direction that I took in terms of "what the hell am I meant to be doing next year?". Amidst writing my essay advocating market socialism, my involvement with Engineers Without Borders and my thesis on natural disaster mitigation, here I am trying to get the attention of multinationals. We both realised that we're more or less in the same boat... and the possibility of being engulfed in the sea of capitalism is no longer so remote.

And so I'm thinking about this. Those who follow my blog must be so confused as to what I want to do with my life. A few months ago it was all "I want to take a year off, study a graduate diploma in Creative Arts and travel!" Now its "Omg I need a job for next year. I want that job! Why aren't they calling me! Omg I did so bad in the interview!"

Let's me just clear up this little vague area of my life. I started applying for some grad positions to 'try my luck'. See where I can get with the qualifications and experience that I currently have. Married with the fact that I have absolutely no money because I have absolutely no shifts at work, I realised that my wishes to travel and take a year off is absolutely not sustainable at this retarded situation of financials I'm currently in. PLUS, I discovered the world of investment banking which sounds incredibly apprealing compared to working as say, an engineer. IB comes with travel and global interaction. I like travel and global interaction. Even if it means living in the office.

As much as I love the uni life, a part of me is getting over it. Maybe it's time to move on. Get a job, start saving real money, go travelling by taking time off that you've earned, start finding my own way of life.

We'll see. It really depends on whether I do get a job. My main goal at this stage is to be an investment banker (and what, advising on hostile takeover bids?!). I applied for investment banking jobs and then freaking out that maybe I won't get a job and so I'm also applying for engineering jobs. Like what the. That wasn't my plan initially. It was just a result of my getting the 'find a grad job now' ball rolling.

I have to get back into what I think is right for me. If I don't get a grad job for next year, I'll take the year off. Get some experience, travel, study art, paint. Get all that shit out of my system. Who knows, it could be good for me.

Ok, I'm digressing.

But the fact is... as much as I seem so incredibly conflicting... at the end of the day, you work or you don't work. And as a grad, all you want is just some decent job to start off your career. I don't want to be wandering around neighbourhoods knocking on doors asking "Will you buy my painting so I can have some bread tonight?" If I'm working for some multinational for the first few years of my career, it doesn't mean that I'll be doing it for the rest of my life. Things will change, I'll see where I progress... and when I'm retired with money that works for me, I'll go a door knockin'! (And open up my own art gallery).

xoxo