The following is a draft of one of the many pieces from an upcoming book that my friend Mossy is putting together - it is called "Clippings", and is based on the philosophy of Jimmy Haig. Now as some of you know, I am a big fan of Jimmy Haig! I really love what I read in this piece and have decided to share it with you. If you find yourself starting to love Jimmy Haig too, please send an email to Moss at heathenrays77@aol.com and tell him that you do!! ;)

Drugs & Alcohol, by Jimmy Haig
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I love the idea of having a little box of tiny potions that would do different things. Each potion would be a different color and flavor, and each potion would do something different. A potion that would make bad food taste good. A potion that would help me remember my dreams. And another potion that would make me feel excited about math. And then I’d have this other potion that would make the other potions stop working when I took it. I hate being stoned or drunk when I don’t want to be! I want an automatic “off” switch! And if we design better drugs, maybe we can do that someday.

I guess that like most human beings, I want to push the limits of perception and experience. There’s a lot of territory to explore within the mind itself. Some people use drugs to help with these explorations. Some people read a book. Some people listen to a CD. Others meditate.

If you’re going to use drugs (that includes alcohol), don’t let them use you - use them. How do you avoid becoming addicted to drugs? I don’t know. Maybe some people just have addictive personalities like me. Even with my addictive personality, I’ve always been able to use drugs and alcohol in moderation and usually when I wanted to, not when I felt that I need to do so.

Not all drugs are bad. It depends on the drug, the person taking the drug, how much of the drug is taken, when the drug is taken, etc. You can’t just say “drugs are bad” or else you’re being very close-minded and just plain wrong.

Drugs save lives, drugs open minds, drugs ruin lives, drugs fry brains. Be smart when it comes to drugs. Find out which drugs, if any, are right for you. Picking out your drug of choice should require more thought than picking out a sweater or a new pair of shoes. Don’t be dumb and always do your research!

-- I don’t like drugs that fuck you up for good. I always wanna be able to “come back.” I’m obsessed with control.

-- Didn’t Jesus turn water into wine or some crazy shit like dat? Wow! The ultimate bartender!

-- I would never try to talk someone into doing drugs or alcohol (which is a potentially dangerous drug, of course). What you put in your body is very personal. But you’ll always find idiots like my cousin that want you to be intoxicated with them, because then they’re not the only idiot in the room. People always want to bring you down with them.

-- The War on Drugs is not going too well. People always want to get high and experience new realities or variations on the widely accepted reality that most people experience. I propose a War on Hate. But once again, people will still want to hate, just as much as they want to get fucked up. Wars on human instinct and basic desires are pointless. I think we should make safer drugs! Less side effects and less addictive. Instead, we just keep fighting with the drugs we have available to us. Make a better drug - let’s put that American spirit of ingenuity to use here! I mean, I just saw on the news today they have these new alcohol machines. You inhale the alcohol, and get drunker quicker, without the calories or whatever that you get from drinking the stuff!

-- I was so naive until I was about 17 or so. I knew that people did drugs, had sex, got incredibly drunk, and got really crazy - but I didn’t REALLY know. I was just taking other people’s word for it. But then I was on my way to see Bob Dylan with a friend. Somebody handed me a pipe, and I took a puff of marijuana. Nothing happened.

A few months later, I purchased some marijuana from a neighbor. I had no idea how to smoke it. So I called a friend and she helped me construct a bong out of a soda bottle, a straw, and tin foil. Well, this time, I got stoned. It was such an incredible high. Not one of those “woah, man. . . let’s order a pizza” highs, but a real “upper” - my heart was pounding a zillion beats per second, but I didn’t feel paranoid. I had left reality like this before when I had anxiety attacks, but never quite like this.

I’m glad that my first stoned experience didn’t involve peer pressure and it wasn’t bad at all. I decided to buy the marijuana and I decided to smoke it. I still don’t know why it’s illegal for me to smoke it, but it is. And every time I light some up, I feel a little paranoid and guilty. There are better things to be paranoid and guilty about. Holding a grudge, eating red meat, pointing out others’ failures - these are things to feel paranoid and guilty about!

-- What is a drug, anyway? As far as I understand, it’s anything that changes your body/mind chemistry. So I guess love is a drug. Ice cream is a drug. Chocolate ice cream, in fact, is my real weakness. Haagen-Dazs is my favorite dealer.

-- Have you ever gotten stoned or drunk with someone you never thought you’d get stoned with? It can be really fun AND funny!

-- Assholes drive drunk. Plain and simple.

-- The government doesn’t actually care about what we put in our bodies. Big Macs are not banned, right? And look at all of these obese kids on their way to a heart attack! Just don’t get them stoned, PLEASE! That’s a guaranteed Big Mac Attack of great proportions once they get the munchies! I wish I could get my hands on munchies-free pot.

-- Drug pushers are buttheads and I’m glad to see when they get locked up!

-- What is the REAL drug generation? All of those hippies that experimented with crazy drugs like LSD? Or their kids that have to suffer the consequences? People always say, “these kids are so fucked up today!” Well, you can’t deny that so many kids are a product of a generation that fucked their minds to infinity and beyond. I guess every generation wants to blame the previous one. But if momma was fucked out of her gourd and humping a tree at Woodstock , maybe she shouldn’t expect Little Johnny to concentrate all that well in geometry class. Think about it.

-- If you give drugs and/or alcohol to babies and/or animals, you are a meanie and you need to stop doing that!

-- I wonder if substances like alcohol and marijuana might help you to prepare for an alternate reality or afterlife. The idea of an afterlife scares me. I can’t imagine floating around all of the time only as spiritual being or something crazy like that. Maybe drugs can help you practice being in a whole new reality. Just a thought.

-- Ya know, it’s like NNMaddox said, “Don’t mix Christmas with cocaine.”

-- I once watched some girls do hardcore drugs. It was hot. I liked how dangerous they were getting! Part of me thinks danger is sexy, and part of me is a voyeur. So watching hot girls do hard drugs can be thrilling!

-- Everybody’s always talking about the perfect drug, but I really do think they all have their own merits. However, alcohol is probably my favorite. Nothing like a cold beer after a hard day. My mind is always going crazy, so I like the downers. Uppers can be too intense, so can hallucinogens. I just want to tune out sometimes.

-- I came from a very liberal household, and I never went crazy with drugs or alcohol! I’ve never tried anything but alcohol and pot, with the exception of the stuff I’ve been perscribed. I think parents should teach their kids that drugs CAN be bad - not that drugs are always bad and if you do them you’re BAD! You see, we usually have to touch that hot stove, just to see if it’s really hot, even if we’ve been told a million times. So don’t make things taboo and just be real with your kids when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

-- I think that drugs really can change you (for better or worse) if you tap into areas of your mind that you wouldn’t otherwise use as much. But only if you can remember what you learned about yourself the next morning. Lots of people don’t remember because they get too intoxicated. See, it’s all about moderation.

-- I don’t know what a natural high is. I guess most people agree that it’s a high obtained without the use of a substance. But substances are often natural and I don’t think it’s so strange to take them.

-- Drugs can fuck you up, and there are few things more pathetic than a drug-fucked rock star trying to relive his or her glory days. It’s not always better to “burn out than to fade away.” I appreciate rock stars that had the strength to get out of their drug haze and learn from it. As I said, use the drug, don’t let it use you. Life is full of stuff, and drugs can help you enjoy that stuff - but drugs aren’t the only “stuff.” If you love drugs too much, you’re selling yourself short. And if you’re lazy - watch out - drugs are a very easy source of gratification! Drugs can be all right, but make time to visit your nearest amusement parks and experience fine dining.

-- People that are addicted to hard drugs are not always bad people. In a world full of rape, war, sexual abuse, and shitty stuff like that, we all want to escape. Punishing drug addicts is a crime in itself. I always think drug addiction is a much better escape than suicide, murder, rape, or anything sick like that. In a world that sees therapy and psychiatric drugs a weakness, no wonder people try to find solace in a line of white stuff or at the bottom of the bottle. I used to drink a small amount of wine before school to take the edge off. I was young, my parents couldn’t afford to get me help, and I didn’t even know what was going on with me. I sought alcohol as a form of medication. But now I’m OK. I wasn’t a bad person, I was just trying to help myself as best as I could.

In a world where “I love you” is such a strange thing to say, people are going to try to fill that awkward emptiness the best they can. We’re not all given the divinity, the strength, or the circumstance to deal with things without drugs and alcohol. Don’t look down on drug addicts & alcoholics! Instead, take a look in the mirror and ask how you can make the world a better place.

-- I really like smoke. It’s so mysterious. I think smoking is sexy, regardless of what the ads tell you. Some of these ads tell you big is beautiful, too! You can’t always trust ads.

-- Be careful around people that are into hard drugs. They’re always looking for an easy buck!

-- I wish that some people didn’t need drugs to get to that “next level.” I’m not going to lie - drugs have taken me places I doubt I could go otherwise. But to be philosophical, to feel high, to feel connected - we have the power to do that every single second of our lives. My suggestion to you and me is to make a list of “natural” highs that have little or no negative side effects.

Here is my quick list of natural highs:
*cuddling with a kitty
*the feeling right before a concert
*saying “I love you” and meaning it
*hearing “I love you” and believing it
*chocolate ice cream (try the Healthy Choice brand!)
*having an orgasm WITHOUT guilt!
*hearing a favorite on the radio
*Looking at the Chrysler building at night
*A hot shower or bath
*Sending flowers
*Seeing someone cute on the subway or bus
*Calling a family member of friend you haven’t spoken to in a while
*Taking pride in your job and having others recognize your work
*Making love to an alien
*Having your head hit your cool pillow after a long day of work
*Putting some littler into the trash can
*Smiling in bed, before you go to sleep
*Doing 10 jumping jacks in the morning
*Hell fucking
*Making lists