LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Omg.
Someone pointed this out to me. It's a Russian news site... and it is SO FUNNY.

Title: BOWIE: the first metrosexual on our planet







First Bowie positioned himself as tender "white Duke"






Because of David Bowie's amasing charm, many rich women and men wanted to have sex

with him. However, he chose his own path to metrosexuality.






Some of Bowie's scene images were frightening.






"Thin White Duke" not only impressed people with his innovative music, but also opened the

new way of following the path of good and evil to them.






David Bowie is an extremely well-groomed man. It is shocking to imagine what will men of

future look like if they all continue developing in this direction.






Bowie's fame increased after his singing "China Girl" song by Iggy Pope. Bowie admired with

Pope, wrote songs for him and sponsored his discs. After Bowie sang "China Girl" and included

this song in his album "Let's Dance", poor and homeless Pope became a millionaire.






David Bowie was the first to turn rock culture to decadence.






Weird sexuality was among Bowie's features.






Unearthly aristocratic flavor contrasted with earthly routine.




On the preak of his popularity "Ziggy Stardust" turned into effeminate creature similar to elf.


David Bowie turned his concerts into theatrical shows. The key image was hero dropped to the Earth out of another world.


Bowie started his career with singing unpretentious ballads and rock'n'roll.

I shall now sit here and die laughing.